Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation

a. Encouraging Words

b. Kind Words

c. Speaking to the Positive Intent of Action

 

Love Language #2: Receiving Gifts

a. Give meaningful things

b. Things that matter to them, even it not to you

c. Things that reflect their values, no necessarily yours

 

Love Language #3: Acts of Service

a. Actions that you know they would LIKE for you to do for them

b. Actions taken without resentment

c. Actions taken with gratitude

 

Love Language #4: Quality Time

a. Undividing attention

b. Not just being in same room

c. Regularly and often in various settings

 

Love Language #5: Physical Touching

a. Regular and often

b. Appropriate to the one being touched

c. Safe touch, not intrusive, leading nowhere but that moment of physical connection and not thinking of future

Rank order these choices for yourself and your partner by putting a number (1-5) beside each one. If you change your mind, don’t erase, but mark out and put the new number beside it. This is for self-discover and conversation. There are not wrong answers. After rating yourself and partner, have them do the same and then take and discover more about your past, your present, and how you would like to live your future.

Me_____________________ You____________________

#1: Words of Affirmation #1: Words of Affirmation

#2: Quality Time #2: Quality Time

#3: Receiving Gifts #3: Receiving Gifts

#4: Acts of Service #4: Acts of Service

#5: Physical Touching #5: Physical Touching

Your primary love language is your Relationship Sweet Spot, meaning if this is the number one way that if your partner expresses love to you, you will feel close to him or her. This raises your sentiment toward each other in a positive direction.

If it isn't, even if the others are done often, you will develop a sense of distance from them, and them from you, which will eventually create an underlying resentment toward them. This lowers your relationship sentiment toward each other.

All the languages are needed in a relationship. However, the primary one(s) most greatly influence the level of positive feelings you have toward each other.

I hope I have the privilege to work with you soon.

Now, let's get to it!

Don

Don@DonElium.com

In office in Walnut Creek, CA

925 256-8282

Don Elium, MA MFT practices individual and couple counseling in his office in Walnut Creek, CA,

San Francisco Bay Area.