YOUR Relationship Blind Spot Counseling with Don Elium

"Out beyond wrong doing and right doing is a place. I will meet you there." --Rumi

"Real conversations with real people makes angry imaginary conversations in your head go away."

The aliveness that you felt at the beginning of your marriage has faded into the background. Something is just different. The pressures and expectations you had of being the perfect spouse and parent while marrying the perfect partner is feeling unbearable. You want relief from this pressure. You want your spouse to change. S/he wants you to change. You no longer know how you really feel. You are stuck in a gridlock of unmet expectations.

This therapy helps overcome the gridlock by:

• Seeing through your personal blind spot so you can face what is causing the pressure that is driving the painful negativity toward yourself and your partner.

• Fixing the problems that really have clear solutions but are hidden because of the negativity blocking both your view about each other.

• Learning new ways to approach and live with the on-going more difficult problems with positive compromises to decrease negativity and increase friendship--the core of marriage.

• Learn to get out of round and rounds of painful imaginary conversations with your spouse and have real ones about real possibilities about what is actually happening in your life right now.

Read onward to see how . . .

When angry, your spouse accuses you of the same things over and over and, of course, you defend yourself, giving your own list about her. Or you never argue at all nor share how your really feel. You both have imaginary conversations with each other in your heads. You make adjustments to keep the peace, only to find things go back right where they were. 

The surprise in all of this is that marriage, not your partner, is working its magic on you. Marriage is a different relationship than any other. It is marriage that forces you to take a deep look at things about yourself that are hard for you to see, hard for you to believe, and hard for you to face.  What you have been unaware of and defending about yourself is called the "relationship blindspot."  It is what your partner sees that you can't. It is the place where you have substituted how you really feel for what you thought you should feel.  It is where what you say differs from what you actually do. Your real voice (how you really feel from your heart) is covered over by this defensive blind spot, and it creates the painful, dead-end arguments that constantly happen between you and your spouse. It also creates that dead feeling that you have inside yourself.

Identify the blindspot in yourself, face that, and learn to have real conversations from your heart and you will begin to feel more alive, more realistic, less reactive, more assertive, and stop shutting down important conversations that need to be completed for the good of your family. Real conversations makes angry imaginary conversations go away.

Instead of going down the same impossible street and falling in the same impossible hole, you can begin to walk down a new street--a fundamentally new way of seeing things where you commit to investigate and accept what is actually happening. Then you can take advantage of what is actually possible in the situation you are in right here and now.

Learn to stop feeding yourself and relationship poisoned negativity by doing the necessary work to see through your own blindness and into new real healthy possibilities. With directness and kindness, Don Elium gives you straightforward guidance to identify your blind spots, understand how they create your marriage frustrations, and most importantly, learn how to see new real possibilities of what can make your personal life and relationships work much, much better than ever before.

For those out of town who can't attend weekly and want a counseling intensive approach, a full weekend of counseling with Don Elium, MA MFT is available upon request.

Click Here To Contact Don Elium!

or call at 925 256-8282, Walnut Creek, CA (San Francisco Bay Area) USA

"If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you are headed."

--Proverb