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Hero at Work, and Villian at Home: Did I marry the wrong person?
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.
I'll meet you there."--Rumi
Dear Don: Yesterday I received a “Best Boss” award from my employees. They praised me for
taking their concerns seriously and for acting on them immediately. Last night my wife told me that she feels all alone in this relationship and home, hurt and although I support our family financially, she doesn't feel considered in any other way. I try so hard. I can’t believe that this is what I get in return. I’m a hero at work and a villain at home. What gives? --James
Dear James,
You married the wrong person. Well, not really, but that is probably what lurks in the back of your mind. Let’s take a closer look back there and get this fear out into the light of day. Sooner or later, every married couple begins to have chronic, frustrating difficulty in their marriage, often between years three and seven. A recent study on marriage in California found that divorce from a first marriage occurs on the average of around 7.8 to 8.2 years. You see, it takes about that long for each marriage partner to get frustrated with the other for not taking seriously the personal feedback that she or he has been giving over and over again. [Click here to read the answer!]
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Communication Techniques In Our Relationship Aren't Working
Dear Don,
My husband and I have been working on our communication for years. We’ve read the books, gone to seminars, and worked together in therapy, but we’re still stuck in the same senseless arguments. We practice the techniques for a while, but it’s not long before we’re in the same old communication patterns. What are we doing wrong? --Joan
Dear Joan, Communication is never the problem in a relationship. [Click here to read the answer!]
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You Can’t Solve It All On A Weekend Getaway (But it can be a good start!)
A weekend getaway, a night away from the kids, going to a movie. . . it is impossible to satisfy all our emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and sexual wants, needs, and fantasies in one evening or weekend. But in our hurried lifestyles we tend to tell ourselves that if we could just "get away" for a night or two everything would be just fine. That the "magic moment" will cure all our daily hurts, shortcomings, and feelings of isolation. It won't. [Click here to read the article!]